Real Teens Speak Out

Picking Up the Pieces

Bullying isn’t “easy.” It’s not something that should be dismissed. I’m glad to see there are people taking it more seriously. I was “too” everything. Too poor- I was on-and-off homeless between the ages of four and seven. Too tall- I was always tall for my age. Too thin- I was underweight most of my childhood since I got taller faster than i could gain weight. Too smart- I was capable of reading newspapers as a first grader. Too loud in elementary school. Too shy from middle school on when I hit puberty and it became much less able to easily get past the bullying and I grew anxious and realized “maybe if I become invisible and not noticed they’ll leave me alone.” My clothes were “ugly” and “wrong” because I was poor. I was always called ugly. The worst of it was my teeth. My teeth look off-white or maybe very slightly yellowish now but that’s a massive improvement that came only with a lot of so-called “cosmetic” dental work. I have a condition called fluorosis. For those who do not know what fluorosis is, it’s basically the beginnings of fluoride poisoning. Overexposure to fluoride as a small child makes your teeth grow in brown and misshapen. And what do parents and teachers like to tell kids in regards to the teeth? “If you don’t brush your teeth, they’ll turn brown and rotten.” People didn’t like my voice either.

It came in many forms. Mostly verbal and emotional torment. In middle and high school, cyberbullying. Harassing IMs from fake accounts. Nasty anonymous comments on my Livejournal. People never wanted to be at the same table as me or next to me on the bus. People would say “ew” whenever they saw me, a reference to the “bad hygiene” they thought I had because of my fluorosis. They’d steal my belongings and my homework. They’d mock me over my mom not having my car and for not having the same toys other kids had because my mom couldn’t afford them, and later on, over not having name brand clothes. They’d pelt me with balls in gym class. I wasn’t particularly coordinated in elementary and middle school so gym class was a nightmare.

I had a very tiny number of friends. And my bullies did everything they could to sabotage those. They would bully my friends for being kind to me. They would tell my friends they wouldn’t have any friends but me if they kept talking to me and that everyone would hate them too. They’d act friendly to some of my friends but say things like “you have to stop being friends with her or I won’t hang out with you and do X, Y and Z with you.” They would lie and tell my friends I was badmouthing them to try to make them angry at me.

Don’t let my smile fool you, even if I have hit a point post-dental treatment where I no longer fear smiling with my mouth open,the bullying has left me with a LOT of confidence issues. If I were to say I never struggle now as an adult, I’d be lying. Bullying has affected me in ways I still cannot put to words. Other than the very few friends I’ve had since childhood that stuck by me even when everyone else hated me, even though people gave them a hard time for being nice to me- I have an extremely difficult time trusting people. I overanalyze interactions, especially online, and withdraw if I pick up on even the slightest sign that something might be “wrong”. I need a lot more reassurance than people seem willing to give that I’m not being “annoying” or “hard to deal with” since I’ve heard my whole life that I was annoying and not someone people want around, that “too much of you is hazardous to the health,” whatever that even means. Hear that kind of stuff enough, you start to believe it, no matter how much you’re told to love yourself and that you must accept yourself first before others accept you.

On the other hand? I know certain things about how not to treat people. I know that taking part in direct, overt public bashing is a very messed up thing to do to a person. I very rarely do even “friendly insults” to friends, especially online- I know how easily they can affect someone who has dealt with those from bullies that used them to hurt and to make a person feel insignificant and worthless. I know that if I take a long time to reply to someone in messaging that I speak to regularly, they could still use reassurance. You know that you can endure a lot and you become a very mentally tough person in some ways- you have to be as a survivor. You learn to be understanding of a broad range of points of view and to get along with people very different from yourself. You end up with an eclectic range of friends.

In conclusion to what became a long essay- and sadly actually STILL the abridged version as I left a lot of the more graphic stuff out, to all those enduring bullying currently- it will become a thing of the past one day. Even if that day is far off. Even if you have to wait until graduation or even a few months past graduation, it will end, the ordeal. And if you encounter a toxic workplace echoing post bullying as I did once? You have more control in that situation than you did as a student. You gain much more control as an adult to not repeat what you’re suffering now. You’ll get through this, even though it is actual mental torture right now. And there are, or at least will at some future point be, people that care about you. Keep holding on. You matter.

my bullying story

Hello my name is Brittany i have been bullied for most of my life but i don’t have all day to tell it to you but here is some advice for those of you that are getting bullied and think that you are worthless and nothing well let me tell you something no matter what you situation is you are not worthless and you are very special each and everyone of you if you weren’t then you wouldn’t be here. please please please please do not ever commit suicide if you do then it will show you that you aren’t strong i can say this because i have thought of killing myself several times and each time i think to myself do not do this you are special and there are people out there that love, admire and care for you go out there and find them most importantly love yourself and have faith and pray and everything will be OK.

Cyber bullied after a day of fun

I had invited a group of friends over on a Saturday day. They had posted videos of us on Snapchat. Later that day my ex best friend had seen me having fun with other friends and decided to tell her friends that I was talking behind their back. They had then each texted me in their separate Snapchat accounts. They had texted me that I’m a stupid snitch, lesbian, atheist, etc… they had also told me that they hated me and threatened to jump me. It was a horrible night after that, which had also affected me for the next several days. I was encouraged to listen to close family members and friends who told me to just ignore it. I eventually did, but other teenagers might not which may lead to bad decisions such as depression, anxiety/stress, or even suicide.

Will it stop?!?

My name is Morgan. I am going into 7th grade i have been bullied for over 4 years. Its rough. I always want to give up and stop and just end my life. People are always picking on me its like i’m the main target and its always me. Its like they don’t know anyone else, they don’t hate anyone else, they don’t want to hurt and be mean t anyone else, will it every stop, will they stop? Probably not but fight. Just fight and please don’t ever give up and don’t ever let anyone bring you down. Your here for a reason.
Love, Morgan

A possible explanation.

Hi everyone. I am a university student in Turkey who got bullied in secondary school. As some who experienced this, I always think aboout people behaving this way.

As ı said, I always wanted to know about why bullies like to behave like like bullies and beyond the reasons we all know, such as the parental reasons etc…, I want to talk about more personal or psychological reasons. Or, at least the possible reasons.

Well one of the possible reasons may be this, showing violence means showing predominance. Having dominion over something is an instinct and was an obligation to stay alive when we lived as scavengers during pre-civilized times. The feeling it provides is why people did not stop after they civilized. This explains why people formed seignories, states and empires respectively; and invaded other lands. Because it feels good to have dominance.

Another reason may be experimentalism out of curiosity. People want to know about certain reaction but unable to try them on their own so they try it on other people. They want to know how people will react if they do something. Sometimes they do it even though they now the consequences. They feel angry about something and want to something to get rid of that anger.

In conclusion, either it is about experimentalism out of curiosity or showing predominance, it is not O.K to behave like a bully and cause lifetime damages. If you want, you can share this scripture at a social media page and inform people. But as I stated below, this is a possible explanation to the crisis and was not formed after a testing process. Just ideas…

For Ten Years

I have been bullied since my first year of kindergarten. By the same group of people for almost my entire life. In elementary I was always the target of everyone. I was called fat, ugly, and no one liked me. Even though I was (Then) an outgoing smart kid. All of my fourth grade friends were fake, I found out after they told me at the end of the year. I cried it hurt my heart. Teachers didn’t seem to care either even though it was happening right in front of their eyes. I’m heading into high school now and it’s been better this year. Found some real friends in sixth grade and people are starting to like me. Also the group of bullies are heading to different schools now. So that’s a huge relief. Although I did not survive unscathed, all this bullying has left me as a hollow shell of my former self. I’m now an introvert that hates social gatherings and is always socially anxious and paranoid. (Even around my family) I have such trouble talking to girls now (I’m a boy) and I don’t open up to them even though I really want to. I have crushes and I’m terrified of confessing my feelings to a girl because of the bullying I have put through for years. Although I’m trying to be more open about myself and my feelings. Now I wonder could my life have been different if I told someone, if my life could have been happy. If I told someone about the torture I have been through for ten years.

Bullying

My name is Lara, I’m in year 6 and have been bullied for over 3 years. Yes it’s not easy and u have a lot of pier pressure. Everyday at school I get called names. I have so many questions like why do people like bullying and why? Don’t the bullies know it causes suicide. I can’t deal with it. Why why why why why why why Why me? PLEASE HELP

What did I do

I have been bullied for about 1 and a half years and I don’t know why I don’t know what I did the truth is I didn’t do anything and if you’re getting bullied then don’t think it’s your folt because it’s not you didn’t do anything some people are just realy mean they threw pens at me they call me tramp fat ugly irrelivent they take it out of me because of my sexuality I am bisexual. I go to school and I am scared to walk past them because they will say something it even happens out side of school u went to town and I bumped into them and they started calling me fat and tramp and they tipped Fanta all over me and threw rocks and sticks and called me more names and I think this needs to stop I know there are more people out there who are getting bullied and teachers don’t stop it I have told them so many times and it still hasn’t stoped I hate my life because of them so I know I can’t stop it but i can share my story I hope my story helps because no matter what they say remember u are amazing gorgeous and perfect the way you are xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

eating, depression, anxiety and bullies

My life hasn’t been the best, 5 years a go I was told I had depression and had a total of 4 counsellors but was unable to get proper help until I was 13 so here I am now 13 turning 14. Having to wait so long caused me to develop an eating disorder, I hardly ever attended school as people continuously took the mess out of my body shape (Im really skinny because of my eating) my face (I was/is really pale as I don’t eat much) because of that I was seen as weak and other things started to be said about me leaving me seriously insecure and it got to the point where I then developed anxiety. So basically I’m messed up and everyone hates me because of what I’ve been through. I’m so fed up of constantly hearing ‘stop bullying and calling people fat’ what about the people getting called anorexic and skinny rats everyday that hurts too. I’m fed up of never been stood up for or noticed. We exist you know!

My bullying experience.

It all started when my parents divorced and me, my mom and my brother had to move into a small town. I was in 4th grade then. At my first day of school, I immediately received negative remarks about how weak I was and everyone called me “four-eyes” for wearing glasses. I didn’t pay much attention to it, but I soon noticed how I had little to no friends at my class. My said “current friends” at the time tried to be distant to me as well. That made me feel really bad.

Fast forward to 5th grade, this boy who was tougher than me began to pick on me. Usually escalating into fighting and the school staff didn’t do anything about it but give a mere warning. I would constantly get my ass kicked and beat up because I was… well, physically weak. I had no arm strength. I didn’t know how to fight back.
In 6th grade, another boy came to our school and I felt like I made a friend! We were actually really good friends and he would stand up for me whenever in need, that stopped the bullying and made my situation better, it really did! …Until 7th grade. Our friendship suddenly fell apart as he became friends with this stronger group of boys, the school was basically afraid of them. My ex-bully began to bully me again, and guess what? My ex-friend and his group of friends joined in.
Up until 8th grade, I actually stood up to my old bully and whooped his arse, but the stronger boys would begin to bully me even harder. I would constantly be pushed to my limits to the point I almost cried and, in their point of view, humiliated myself. They would begin to bully me in classrooms when the teachers are not looking or are away for a moment. I felt depressed at that moment. I still do. Constantly I come back home and cry to myself and usually spend time alone because I literally have no friends around me.

Maybe one day that will change, but for now, I resort to cutting from time to time, even though I know it’s stupid. I feel like there’s no hope, even though I know that I can put a stop to this. I just don’t know how… Yet.