Real Teens Speak Out

Invisible

I’m not sure if this totally counts as bullying, but here we go. I grew up in a school full of nice people, where bullies were few and far between. Elementary school years were great, and I even made it through middle school without incident. I had great friends, and I loved them. I had this one friend in particular – me, her, and this other girl, we were the inseparable triumvirate. But then in high school, sophomore year, she just stopped talking to me. When we hung out, there were usually other people around, and she would find anyone else she could to talk to. Anyone, even if she barely knew them. She would get into conversation with somebody, and I would be left awkwardly standing there next to her, feeling totally left out and unwelcome. Even if I tried to join in the conversation, she would barely acknowledge my statements or turn it around and make it about her. For a long time, I assumed she wasn’t doing it on purpose – she was a social butterfly who loved to talk, and I was a shy and awkward girl who could barely hold a decent conversation and tended to hide my emotions from others; she’d rather have a more interesting conversation and didn’t realize she was hurting me because I never let it show. And this went on for months. One thing that really bothered me was when I flew across the country by myself for a thing, and when I got back, the one person who asked me how my trip was was her new best friend’s boyfriend, who I didn’t even know very well. Not her. I felt so invisible and ignored and dissed at the time around her, but I didn’t want to make a fuss when everyone else was happy, and I thought she wasn’t doing it on purpose. Well it turns out I was wrong. Come Christmastime, my other friends ask me if I’m going to her Christmas party. I hadn’t even known there WAS a party. I asked who else was invited, and it turned out that the entire friend group was invited – except me. At that point, I knew that she was doing this on purpose. I stopped hanging around her, avoided her at all costs. But what I didn’t realize was that she had unintentionally cut me off from my other friends. See, she was the one who threw all the parties and planned all the get-togethers in our group, which meant that I was never invited to them. And while the rest of the group was hanging out and getting closer as friends, I was not. Avoiding her, as I came to realize, often meant avoiding my other friends, and we drifted apart. And I kept telling myself, I need to talk to her about this, and she’s a human being so she deserves to hear it face-to-face. And for months more, I could never work up the nerve to do so. Eventually, sick and tired of being invisible, I did manage to call her aside and sort of say how I felt, but I was totally panicked and couldn’t think clearly enough to get the right words out to get my message across. She told me that she was tired of me always showing up an hour or so late to her parties. I tried to explain that my mom doesn’t let me go unless my grades are good or I spend several hours doing homework in order to bring my grades up beforehand, but she didn’t understand. I was too panicked, and I explained myself very poorly, and she didn’t seem to get it. After that, I gave up on a face-to-face talk and wrote her a three page letter explaining exactly how I felt, which I delivered the next day. I waited for her to come talk to me about it, because I assumed she would, but she never did. I heard from one of my other friends that she was very pissed at my letter. At that point I gave up. I knew then that I could never repair the friendship we once had. I’m nearing the end of my junior year now, and I still don’t really have anyone I can call my best friend. I see her, and I just get angry and upset and hurt, and I feel this hatred towards her that I try to tell myself is just in my head even though deep down, I know it isn’t, and she has no idea. She acts completely indifferent towards me now, and she’s totally past it. I think she thought she was just “cutting toxic people out of her life,” but she never even talked to me, never gave me a chance to fix the problem I was causing her. She still doesn’t seem to understand just how much she hurt me, because I still get upset when I see her and I can tell she doesn’t think about everything that happened when she sees me. I guess 6 years of being best friends didn’t mean anything to her, because she just dropped me like that. I am still on my own, with no close friends I can depend on. I can’t wait for college, when it will be a whole different crowd and nobody has their own friends yet – maybe then I can finally have a best friend again.

My story

When I was in primary,I never would’ve thought of the unexpected person that came into my group of friends was bullying me.But,now that I am older and am in comprehensive I realise that I was. It all started when this girl came into my group of 2 friends. Me and my 2 friends used to play Harry Potter and other imaginative games like that and it was good and really fun but when the girl that I’m gonna call “L” came to play with us she changed every single thing. I can’t remember a single moment without her being there and making me feel like I had something wrong with me. She made us play games that consisted of her being the queen of HER land and me ending up as some sort of servant.She would come to every play time with us,every time I got invited over someone’s house,L was there. Along down the line,it got worse. My friends started to say nasty childish things towards me such as “crybaby” and act like I wasn’t even there in a way. Like I was a shadow almost,L had turned my life into a living hell into the fact that I wouldn’t go out of the toilets into the classroom at all. None of my teachers told my parents that I was crying every day for some reason,nor were they even necessarily caring that I was,it’s like they didn’t care wether or not I got hurt. My bullying went on for at least 4 years and it has finally ended as I told the girl that I despised her only now as I’m going into my GCSEs . My friends still adore L so now I no longer call them my friends. Cause they did absolutely nothing about me crying. And I’m happy that I’ve now realised I was bullied in a way because I am the better person than L,and I will always be.

Story about me

I was never bullied not once in elementary school and it’s funny to realize back then how easy things were but that all changed in middle school. Where I had a friend back at my old school he started to bully me with his other friend’s I also got talked back behind my back by another kid I also got called names. Next year was a massive step up that’s when I didn’t get bullied in fact I was friends with the person that talked behind my back and the other kid actually sort of moved on from me. It’s not like I was fresh for the whole year I still had some insults but it was nowhere near as bad. High school came along it was sort of in between middle school bullying but I had much anger built inside me so I started to attack others and make them cry to relieve all of that anger. I wasn’t the same person in middle school but I did change my ways. That was last year this year I am doing much better and although I do get bullied by my so-called friend in middle school we sort of had a fight last year but I honestly don’t care his loss. I also am now starting to stick up for myself and manage my behavior so it doesn’t happen to anyone else. There is still a fair bit to say but that is a summary of the years I got bullied. Also, remember you’re not alone.

I have been bullied for a LOOOOOOOOONG time but it started when i was at summer camp trying to have fun but i had a friend he was a boy and we got along for some weeks but then they started calling me names like worthless it just wasnt fun on my last day we were sitting listening to my councillors and this boy decides to dump SUNSCREEN on my head and i started crying and ran into the bathroom…….

tiny

I’m in 8th grade right now and 8th graders have been bullying me by saying you don’t belong her at middle school go back to preschool because of how short i was

bullying story

I can’t really remember the time when I haven’t been bullied. I’ve been being bullied for almost my whole life, I wish I was back in kindergarten because back then I could be me and not be bullied for being me. I may only be 13 but I’ve been called horrid names by everyone just for how I look and for who I hang out with. but It all started when I was in 6th grade. I was shorter than everyone and not as pretty. I was getting called horrid names like “toy, anorexic, bulimia, ugly” and lots more, in the bathroom,hallways,in the class and even in the lunchroom. I never really knew why they were doing this but they did. It made me feel bad but I didn’t really mind it much because I was only in 6th grade I also thought that it would all dial down come 7th grade. I was also getting told to go kill myself but I never really listened to them until 7th grade hit me. I was still getting called all of those names then getting told worse stuff like “if you need help I can dig and fill the hole for you and You shouldn’t be alive” I tried telling teachers, guidance counselors and even the principal but Nothing worked and they wouldn’t leave me alone. So I just stopped eating and blocked everyone out of my life thinking wow they are all right i’m really nothing. My mom seeked to get me help and she got me a guidance counselor that kinda helped but also didn’t at the same time. I thought about harming myself and since no one ever knew what was really going on so I thought so many bad things. People tried and tried to talk to me but I didn’t talk back much unless I knew the person pretty well. After I didn’t eat for 2 weeks I ate something because my mom made me. In school I had gym I would always get dizzy and really tired really quick which isn’t like me to be like that.People stopped talking to me because they didn’t want to get bullied too. So I felt really alone and I stopped eating again, I even wanted to die. People started to stare more and started to name call a lot more because I was letting them get to me. I started thinking about ways I could kill myself and I just didn’t care because people just didn’t care, people saw me like this but no one ever did anything about it. I would be in class and just not talk for hours crying here and there. I wouldn’t even know if my teacher was talking to me. Letting them get to me which I didn’t care because I felt worthless and nothing at the time it was just another day for me. I just gave up on everything their possibly could be, all of my friends, family and even my teachers started to worry about me yet I still didn’t care. Then comes 8th grade (the grade i’m in) it’s even WORSE!!!  I still get told all of that stuff and I still get called everything I already get called. I try to stick up for myself but most of the time I’m to scared to. Some people think my life is so great when its really not. But now I know i’m stronger and that if I just gave up now that people would actually be happy because I gave in and let them get to me. Just because people get to me doesn’t mean I can just give up and dig deeper than the people who are bullying. I have people who care about me. I mean yes I have made mistakes but who hasn’t. I’m almost just like everyone else but I do have my flaws just like everyone else does. Yes, people get to me but i’m not going to let them get to me to a point where I just give up. They can call me names but their not going to get their way. I know i’m way stronger than that and they are not going to stop me from accomplishing my goals in life so I didn’t just give up.

My experience

Let’s start with a little bit of background | I have Atopic dermatitis or ezcema to be simplistic, Atopic dermatitis is a skin condition where your skin is cracked, dry, red, and most of the time itchy. I have a servere case of Atopic dermatitis and sadly, there is no cure. Me and my family have tried everything over the years such as medications, ointment, and moisturizers but after having tried everything you can think of for 13 years, I still have this annoying itchy and dry skin.| Now, let’s get on with my experience in bullying | The bullying started when I was 5 years old, of course it was minor since I was only in kindergarten but over the years it got worse and worse. The worst came in 6th grade, the more popular kids would call me ‘ebola’ or ‘grandma’ because of my dry or weird-looking skin. My friends in that grade would constantly get bullied because they were my friend, so most of my friends either betrayed me because they were getting bullied or plain just didn’t like me. I’m shy when it comes to meeting people but when I actually get to know them, you won’t hear me stop talking. Anyway, I had been at the same school until 6th grade so I knew almost everyone there, the staff, the principal, and even the elective teachers personally. I was a star student to them but when I went to the principal about the bullying, absolutely nothing was done. For this reason I left that school and began homeschooling, now i’m doing VERY well. I now am far ahead of my grade and am about to finish the school year up in only 6 months. I would love to become a child advocate for bullying and let them know they’re not alone. Thank you for reading my story! Stay positive but always remember, you’re beautiful just the way you are.

My bully almost killed me

I would start my story at the beginning, where it all began, except i can’t. I don’t remember exactly when it all started, the first time I was laughed at, the first time I was hit, the first time I was called a name or, the first time my own friends hurt me. I can’t tell you this, because when it first started, I didn’t even know that my own “friends” were bullying me. The first time i can remember been bullied was at the age of 7. I was just like any other young girl in primary school, except for the fact that I was a competitive gymnast. One day I come to school and there’s my group of friends on the playground. I walked right up to them and said “hey, what you doing?” they turned around and suddenly stopped talking. At that point, one of the older girls came up to me. She was a lot taller and I was very scared of her. All she did was look down at me, I could hear the others laughing and whispering behind her. I tried to look at them except the older girl grabbed my shoulder and pushed me away. I wanted to tell the teacher but I knew it would only make it worse so instead I went to the girls bathrooms and sat their crying for the rest of the break. I can remember the next day aswell. I remember getting a drink from the water fountain. I was there when all of a sudden I felt a hand on the back of my head, whoever t was pushed my head into the fountain. I lifted my hand from the button that made the water flow but it kept running, someone else had their hand their. I was there for around 3 minutes before they let me go. They could’ve really hurt me and didn’t care. It got worse as it went on but one day sticks in my head more than any other. It was the first day of high school and I was in the same class as the bullies from my primary. I’d asked to move classes but there wasn’t any space in any other class. Nobody bothered me until it came to PE. We had swimming, everything went well until one of the other students almost drowned. The teacher told us all, to get out the pool whilst she took the girl to medical. I got out and stood far from the edge. Now, I wasn’t a very good swimmer at this time and was still learning. Nearly everyone else could swim. Suddenly, I felt two pairs of hands grad by arms and another on my back. They were trying to push me into the water. I tried to resist but wasn’t strong enough against three people. They managed to push me into the water. I went under and nearly drowned. I managed to reach the surface again, gasping for air. I reached for the edge and tried to climb out, a hand suddenly pushed my head under water. They held me there for a long time. When they let go, I couldn’t breath, couldn’t think, hear and was falling under water. If it wasn’t for the teacher returning, I would’ve drowned. The teacher rescued me and asked why I was in the water. I was scared to tell her so I said that I didn’t know. She asked again and said that it wasn’t like me. I gave her the same answer, she sent me to medical where I was sent home. Until this day, nobody except my class knows about that. Not a single person told the teacher or my parent. I am now 14 and I’m still scared to swim. I don’t talk to my bullies and struggle to make new friends as I’m scared they turn out like my old friends. I am now however, stronger than I was, physically and mentally. I may only have five friends, but their real friends who care about me. I have always wanted to try and stop or reduce bullying.

Put it behind you

When I was younger I started getting bullied for my name. For people would sat that it is a boys name (I am a girl), but really it is a name for both girls and boys. If I told an adult I would be given the “T” sign (meaning: Tattletale) . So I started keeping it to myself, crying myself to sleep at night, attempting to starve myself, and ect. Then I started getting older and developing a personality. Now obviously there is always going to be a person out there who doesn’t like you. But there were so many people who hated me that I really couldn’t take it. My friend and I had started to drift apart at this time. After about a year and a half we started talking and hanging out again. But it has been 11 1/2 years and the bullying is still going. I’m turning 12 in two months and the bullying is still happening…..

Giving Back

I don’t remember clearly when I started getting bullied. What I do remember in vivid detail is the few months of winter when I was in third grade, when one of my friends would line a couple of us up on the snow in front of a brick wall and, one by one, shove us in the chest so that our heads hit the wall. This went on almost every day for several months. I never told anyone, because I thought that’s just what friends did to each other. I had such low self‐esteem that I thought that I had to put up with this kind of treatment in order to have friends at all.

As I got older, the bullying grew more subtle but no less harmful. I endured exclusion, condescension, and ridicule from my closest friends, and felt grateful that they had allowed me into their circle. I felt like I had to earn their friendship every single day, and if I did something wrong, I would be alone. I appeared happy, and in many ways I was. But I was worn down with the strain of being made to feel inadequate, as though I didn’t deserve to have people like me.

I changed schools for middle school, and it was the best thing that I could have done. At a new school I learned that pain wasn’t the price of friendship, and by experiencing real friendship, I learned that I was worthy of it. I finally told my parents about the bullying I had experienced in elementary school, and in retrospect I wish I had told them when it was happening. Who knows what they could have done, but what I do know is that I never gave them the chance to help.

While I was in middle school, I had the opportunity to work with PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center on their Kids Against Bullying website. My school’s theater company provided the voiceover talent for the animated characters on the website. This was not only a great theatrical experience, but it introduced me at an early age to the philosophy and resources of PACER. Before that, I had never really thought of what I’d gone through as bullying. To be honest, I had fairly successfully blocked most of it from my memory. But this project opened my eyes to the fact that there were other kids who had had similar experiences. I wasn’t alone. That realization was incredibly comforting.

My high school years were a balm for what I experienced as a child. In a supportive environment, with friends who treated me well, I was able to grow and thrive. So when the opportunity to work with PACER again presented itself, I felt as though I could participate as a survivor, not a victim. My classmates and I wrote and performed skits about bullying for PACER’s Teens Against Bullying website. The production process was both educational and therapeutic, because it gave me the opportunity to demonstrate that I was not the same person that I was in elementary school. I’d grown strong and self‐ assured with the help of supportive friends and teachers.

Several years later, when I was looking for an internship to fill the summer between my junior and senior years in college, I knew exactly where to look. Because PACER had such a powerful influence on me in middle and high school, even more than I’d realized at the time, I wanted to give back to the organization. I spent a summer working at PACER, learning the ropes of both the bullying prevention field and the nonprofit world. I had amazing opportunities to work with companies, organizations, and individuals who cared deeply about bullying prevention. I walked away from that experience more knowledgeable and more inspired about bullying prevention than I could have anticipated.

I graduated from Saint Olaf College in 2013, with my degree in Social Work. As I was looking for a job, I kept thinking that my work at PACER wasn’t done. I wanted to learn more, do more, and be more for a cause that was so close to my heart. I wanted to make sure that my future children, and indeed any children, wouldn’t have to go through what I and many others did. So I applied for a position at PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center and I was happily employed there for over a year. The position felt like the best possible culmination of my previous experiences. I now have the opportunity to make a real difference in the lives of students facing the same kind of challenges I did. I could be there for them in a way that I didn’t feel like anyone was there for me. And I had the opportunity to help create real social change around the issue of bullying. I know what it’s like to feel alone, to feel that no one cares what’s happening to you, and that you deserve to be treated badly. But PACER is working to change the culture so that bullying is no longer considered an acceptable part of childhood, and every child feels safe and knows that he or she is not alone. Getting to be a part of that, and to channel the hurt and fear I faced as a child into helping children, has been an amazing experience.

Sarah Busch has been connected with PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center for more than ten years, but her experience with bullying goes back much farther. Bullied physically and emotionally in grade school, she knows what it’s like to feel alone.