Real Teens Speak Out

That’s My Story

In elementary school, I was always called fat. I’ll admit, I wasn’t the skinniest kid. I told my mom but she said she didn’t know what she could do. But at the time, none of my friends had that problem. Sometimes I cried at night and I went to bed because I was just totally hurt. Then, in fifth grade there was this girl that would always punch me and call me fat. Luckily, she ended up moving after sixth grade. But in sixth grade we had serious issues. She would call me horrible names on Facebook. I’m not going to say them because they were so bad. But I guess I was just as bad. I called her names back. I was so annoyed. After she moved I was so happy.

In seventh grade things got worse. I hadn’t had any kids call me names in person or say anything about me to my face. Just online. But in technology one day, this girl I barely ever talked to called me fat and said that I looked like a whale. I didn’t say anything back. I didn’t care. Then in health, she told these two new girls she was in honors. I was talking with them too and said "your not in honors" and she said "yeah I am. You’re not." and I said "actually, yes I am. I’m in honors language arts. And you aren’t in there." She had to ask somebody because she didn’t believe me. Then she said "oh. Well you just didn’t seem like the kind of person to be in there. You aren’t smart. You’re stupid." I started getting super mad. I was clenching on to my binder so hard. Trying to avoid going off on her. Then she said "Remember how you didn’t make the volleyball team? You couldn’t even bump it. You sucked" and she laughed. I said "I didn’t make the team because I couldn’t serve, I got 10 points on my bumping." and she just ignored me. Then she asked if I did any sports. I said no. Then she asked if I did any other school activities. I said "No. I don’t really have the time or anyone to pick me up." And then she said "No. It’s because you’re lazy. I thought I was just going to punch her. I was trying so hard not to cry.

And in gym one day, we were playing kick ball. I’m not crazy about gym.  So when it was our turn to kick, I walked up there. I didn’t run. Then some girls that weren’t playing yelled "Alicia why aren’t you running?" And I just shrugged my shoulders. I never talked to them. I had but that was a while ago. Then one girl said "No wonder you’re so fat. You need some exercise."

My heart just dropped. I had been dealing with self esteem problems at the time. I was trying like crazy not to cry. I wanted to just break out in tears. Anyway, I haven’t done anything. But I’m moving. But that was my experience with bullying . . . yup.

I Am, You Are

I AM, YOU ARE

Why do you discriminate?
I say this, you say that,
I say white, you say black.
I try to be nice, I try to be cool
I try to be funny, but you call me a fool.
Why do you make me your prey?
Who will go and who will stay?

I am everbody and every race.
I might be a woman, a man or a child,
I might be poor, I might be in style,
I might be blond, I might be gay.
Why can’t you accept me in my own way?

The proble just might be
That you wish you could be me.
You are prejudice and I am free
Your are scared where I am strong,
I am the one who change the world.
I am right and you are wrong.
Getting rid of the pity and hate,
That will be the way,
For I believe in love and fate.

Acceptance?

Hi, my name is Marina and I live in Portugal.

I was myself a bully victim and I didn’t and still don’t find that cool at all. But lately, I found out that one who bully someone, anytime in his life was bullied. I’m not defending those who bully, but my point is that, sometimes, to one can be accepted in a certain crew, people adopt the same behaviors that this crew has it, and sometimes no matter if the behavior of that crew is good or bad, we just want to accepted by them no matter what.

I didn’t bully anyone, because I was lucky to have a mother who fought for me so that the bullies don’t bring me down and make me to follow their path. Some questions that I have are, after had passed for that and after growing up a little "Why we want that bad to accepted by people who doesn’t accept us like we are? And who started this horrible game of popularity?"

Now in my point of view, popularity it’s not a bad thing, but the popularity that bullies are trying to reach or got it already it is a bad one because it only teaches us to be bad citizens in the way that we discriminate people by reasons like race, physical conditions, or stuff that people can’t control by its own straight.

So why we want that bad this kind of popularity which doesn’t bring us to any good place, and for the opposite, only leads us to self-destruction?

Popularity Game

With all the hurt and pain
That goes in this popularity game,
Being different from then is
Like being stuck in a maze.

Just treat me with respect like everyone else.
Why try to fit in with other people?
They’re just going to hurt your feelings.
Just be yourself, don’t listen to
What others people have to say about you.

You are beautiful and unique
In your own way.
Those that bully
Can’t bring me
Down.

Is Manipulation Considered Bullying?

In my family, there isn’t a common theme of similarities between our own physical features. We don’t share the same hair, eyes, or even skin color. With one Indo-European mother, two Chilean brothers and me, Chinese, we create a family of many ethnicities. Not only is our family diverse because of our ethnicities, but we’re also unique based on the fact my mom made the decision to adopt three children as a single woman; one of them born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS). Growing up with a Peter, gave our family a  stronger perspective and understanding that it’s not so much that he has developmental disabilities; it’s more that he is differently-abled. FAS does not define Peter as a person and it’s important to know that although he may be developmentally delayed, there is still so much that we’ve learned from him.

At a young age, I realized that although I am not chronologically older, I am mentally the older sister. During our childhood, my logical thinking was already progressing faster than my own brother’s and because of that, our relationship shifted fast. There was nothing left for Peter to show his little sister because she knew everything he knew. I believe the hardest thing for Peter is that he understands that there is something different about him. It’s something that is completely out of his control and something that could’ve been prevented from happening. Growing up with Peter taught me how to think analytically, be empathetic, and provide an independent role.

Right now, Peter is dealing with the shift into adulthood. He continues to search for his own path of independence, but yet he’s incapable of losing the dependency he has on others. Because Peter isn’t finding that satisfaction from his family, he’s relying on his girlfriend to provide it. She’s fully aware of his vulnerability and makes no hesitation to take complete advantage of it. It’s almost scary to watch how she forms her words to fit perfectly to Peter’s ears. She knows exactly what to say and what actions should be taken to get what she wants out of Peter. Many people wouldn’t consider this bullying because Peter is oblivious of her intentions, but that’s what makes it so dangerous. His vulnerability has made him an easy target and because she has so much power over him, my family can’t do much but work around the information she continues to feed into his mind. Many people wouldn’t relate manipulation to bullying because the act of manipulation is so subtle. There isn’t an automatic reaction from the target considering that they don’t feel like they’re put in a position where defending themselves in necessary. This is why finding a "solution" to this sort of situation is so difficult. If we start to blame the girlfriend on his current actions and different way of thinking, it will somehow spin out of control and lead to a loss of trust between Peter and the family.

When someone like Peter trusts you, it’s not something that should be taken advantage of and because of the way he processes his thinking, we have to be extremely careful with how we handle the girlfriend. In a snap of a finger, his trust with us could disappear which is why our approach has to be well planned and analyzed. The last thing we would want is for Peter to depend on the person manipulating him more than his own family. All we can do now is control the amount of time he spends with her and hope that someday we’ll be able to do more.

Remember

Remember, the person you choose to bully and turn away, may be the person sent to make a connection with you which could turn into a lifelong friendship and that may be the person who ultimately will be there for you when you really need a friend and someone to turn to.

You may not always like someone, and that is normal, so you can choose not to associate with that person instead of bullying that person.

It takes a stronger, kinder person who believes in themselves, to accept people are different and should be, and not want to hurt or cause someone physical or emotional pain. Think how dull this country would be if we were all the same.

Before you pick on anyone, think of yourself and how other people see you. If they see you as different and picked on you, would you like it? Would you stand up for yourself?

If one person takes a stand against bullying, others will follow. Let’s take a stand together, and let our voices be heard. Let’s be the voice for those who are afraid to talk and let’s be the voice for those who were silenced and cannot talk.

DOOLY’s WISH

My daughter Johanna has PDNOS and is on the Austim Spectrum. She was severely bullied at school. They stole her IPOD, took her money, made her do their homework, continually teased her to the place where she was the last into school, and the first out. Johanna never wanted to join any after school activities, because she could not enjoy herself, because she was always on edge, waiting for the next incident to start up.  Much of Johanna’s problems, were her misunderstanding of  non verbal body language. She also had problems, accepting even a kind child’s reaching out, because she had lost her trust in her peers acceptance.

Johanna is very high functioning but struggles socially, especially within her own age group. Her appearance is almost completely normal, so many children saw her social struggles, her gestures as weird or different from the others, and did not have a kind heart and reach out to her. Part of the reason for the continuing of the bullingy, is because children with special needs, do not report the times that they are bullied.  They just want to be accepted, have friends, and not be called a tattletail.  They just want to be like everyone else.

As the years went on, we fought with our school district to do something to help Johanna enjoy school and be a typical student.  Eventually the bullying go so severe we had to hire and lawyer and remove  her from the school. When a child "hit her for not doing his homework" it took an violent act and a kind hearted lawyer that fought with all her strength, to get Johanna into another high school that was better able to handle children with her type of special needs.  Johanna went on to be happy, make some friends and graduate with honors
————–
Together with her talent for drawing and her story we created a website called DOOLY’s WISH, that we hope to use to bring awareness to this issue. 

Johanna producted a T-shirt that we sell  to raise money to support our efforts to educate other children that bullying, especially a special needs child,  is just NOT OK.  We have wrist bands  that state "Stand Up for a Special Kid – Be a  Hero". Because of Johanna’s struggles, we are trying to help another child, aid another parent, and to "Start a Movement" to STOP the Bullying of a Special Needs Child.  

Johanna’s high school has proudly produced a bullying video that stars Johanna and her story. We are so proud of this video that is now in the last stages of being finalized and will be shown in schools in our area.  

Parents do not know where to turn to help their children.  We are working hard to get the audience to tell her story. We want to start a movement to save a child. Dooly’s dream is that no child has to endure the bullying that she went through just because she is Special.

This Is MY Story

I have been picked on my whole life. You see, I have been diagnosed with something called ADHD – when you have a lot of trouble focusing and you have too much energy- and Bipolar Disorder- a mood disorder which can make you have mood swings (when your mood changes in a pattern) and with the version I have, it can cause severe depression.

I am a very sensitive person, and kids took advantage of that, and they bullied me so much I attempted to commit suicide. However, I didn’t, and I got help immediately.

Teachers have also bullied me. There is something called a 504 in place for kids with disabilities, and I needed to have one in case I wanted to commit suicide again. But I made it through.

A lot of times I wished I didn’t have what I have…. But no I know that even if you have a disability, you still aren’t different from anyone else. You’re a human being, and you deserve to be treated right.

Hurting Yourself On the Outside to Kill the Pain On the Inside

There’s this girl in the mirror, I wonder who she is.

Sometimes I think I know her and sometimes I wish I did.

There is a story in her eyes, lullabies, and goodbye.

When she’s looking back at me I can tell . . . she’s hurting inside.

She smiles with all that she has left, yet tears are left un-dried.

And though she’s got so much to say, she bottles it up inside.

If you look past her broken eyes to a shadow no one sees, a disguise so you won’t recognize, the girl is really me . . .

Sometimes the pain’s too strong to bare. . . and life gets so hard you just don’t care.

You feel so alone . . . you just sit and cry

I could go on with my day and act like everything is okay.

But as my life goes on it hurts more in every way.

You’ll just never know . . . So many emotions I choose not to show.

How it hurts to smile.

How you try to fit in but you can’t.

How you hurt yourself on the outside, to try to kill the pain on the inside.

EVERYONE SHOULD BE TREATED LIKE THEY MATTER

Sometimes i think to myself, why me? Do some people really lack that much self confidence that they have to say things to bring others down just so they can feel good about themselves? It tears me apart to read some of the things people have to say about others on Facebook, through texts, emails, twitter, etc., but yet they never have the guts to say it to one’s face. If they only knew what the cruel things they say can cause one to think about themselves.

I have been bullied from pre-school up, but i also know that i can’t let the bully know that they have one. That the mean things they have said or posted bother me. Because if i do it only seems to get worse! I’m not only trying to stick up for myself but for everyone who has been bullied in their life. It’s not right, and it’s time for a change.

Together we all can make a difference.

Put a stop too bullying and make every victum feel beautiful. Like they matter, and let them know they are perfect the way they are and not to let others actions or words bring them down.

Life is a gift, many people take advantage of that and they have so many insecurites the only way they know how to feel good is too only bring others down. If only the parents knew the things there children say to others, imagine how different things would be.

When my parents were in school they didn’t have facebook, or cell phones to communicate. So if there was a problem they confronted the person. But in our time kids think they can get away with make rude comments to bring others down. In general this world is slowly falling apart. We have kids comitting suicide because of others actions. They know what they are doing is wrong but they think they are made of steel.

We are only human, and we are only as strong as our heart lets us. We all have emotions and they will pick on anyone until they feel so low about themselves they don’t even want to leave there house. You should never judge one by there clothes, hair, shoes, grades, only because you don’t have any idea how there life may be at home. If anything, you should try to support anyone no matter what the situation may be. Yes schools may have bullying programs, but they are not enforced  enough and i think they should be. Everyone should be treated like they matter. I’m ready to make a change, are you?