Real Teens Speak Out

Emotional Win

The topic of bullying is never an easy topic to bring up even after all these years. In fact now, when people heard that I was bullied as a child they tend not to believe me until I dig into the painful facts from the past. The problem today is people do not realize that bullying leaves a lasting effect on a person’s life. Words hurt and emotional pain lasts a much longer time than physical pain. 

As a child because my parents were of a different ethnicity it made me look different than other classmates.  I was called so many names so much to the point so my parents even suggested I conceal what nationality I was. My most tramautizing bullying experience was in fourth grade when all the students formed a petition in the class claiming I was "the ugliest student."

The bullying lasted for about 4 years and instead of telling someone I kept it all bottled inside.  By high school I had grew into my looks and achieved popularity but was extremely angry with rage and hurt inside. This led me down a destructive path to which made me lash out at my parents because I blamed them for the bullying because of their nationality.

The only shine of light I had in me was I refused to bully anyone even though I had become part of the "popular crowd" because I knew what kind of pain and suffering it brought. One day after reading a story about a teen commiting suicide because of bullying, I decided I was not going to let this painful part of my past dictate who I was to become. It does take time to heal from bullying but it will happen. 

There is no greater high in the world than overcoming the feeling of beating your bullies not physically but emotionally.  From a bullied elementary school kid, I am now a college graduate with a degree and lead an enjoyable life.  As for my bullies? They did not get very far and that is the best strength once can receive.

HERO

This is going to be very hard for me to write, but I’ll do my best.

I distinctly remember the first day of Kindergarten. I walked into my classroom with a smile on my face: happy, outgoing, ready to make new friends.

At the end of the day, that smile had quickly turned into a massive frown.

In my ancestry, I have German blood, hence the reasoning for the way my ears are shaped (big, round, and they used to stick out A LOT). Thanks to my mother, who had moved constantly during her childhood, I spoke differently than everybody else, and I was always small for my age. For all these reasons and more, I was immediately cast off from everyone else. I was a nobody, and nobodies don’t have feelings…right?

Years passed, and entering Junior High, things only got worse. Instead of just petty words and remarks little kids used, now there were more sexual, more meaningful insults, never mind the quickly spreading epidemic that I was quickly introduced to: Cyberbullying. Eventually, I became slightly anorexic, even more emotionally vulnerable before, and quickly fell into a downward spiral that melted into hardcore depression.

I guess the worst part about it wasn’t that I was being bullied, it’s that nobody really cared enough to notice. Even if they did notice, I’m pretty darn sure they still didn’t care. After all, it’s not their problem, is it?

By the time I entered high school I started having serious suicidal thoughts. I even wrote a suicide note, saying why I felt the way I did and why I would do what I did to relieve myself of the nonstop torture. Nobody wanted to listen to me. Heck, I was even told on several occasions to "crawl into a hole and die."

Sophomore year came along and I lost it. My grades plummeted, I was physically deteriorated, mentally exhausted, and just all around DONE. I was ready to relieve my pain and leave this world in peace.

That’s when HE came.

When I say "He," most people would think "oh, she must mean some higher being." Not in my case, though I guess it’s kinda similar. My guardian angel had finally arrived.

His name is Sean. Like me, he’d also been bullied in the past, but he had the luxury of a group of people to talk to. For a while, I must admit, I envied him a bit. He is pretty much me in another body, aside from the fact that he likes programming and I’m more of a Psychologist. We both like reading, writing, music, learning, talking (as in intelligent discussions), etc.

Anyways, as soon as we met something clicked between us that just felt right. The two of us shared information about each other nobody else had the luxury of learning, and every day seemed to get better with our friendship.

Sean is my guardian angel and hero. He ultimately saved me from suicide, and I can never repay him for it. He taught me how to love myself again, and in turn how to see others differently. Thanks to him, I learned that not everybody is going to treat you badly. As of now, we are a loving couple of almost two years, and planning our future together.

Making a difference: T-shirt campaign targets bullying

Article "Making a difference: T-shirt campaign targets bullying" posted in GOLackawanna on August 21, 2012

Columnist, Don McGlynn

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With the start of school just few weeks away, many children are busy setting personal goals for the year ahead. Old Forge Elementary School’s Nathan Cieslak has made it his goal to try and make the school experience better for everyone.

Proving you’re never too young to make a difference, the 10-year-old, fifth grade student is selling T-shirts featuring a logo of his own design, and the slogan “Only You Can Prevent Bullying.”

Nathan is hoping the shirts, priced at $12, will create a greater awareness of the problem of bullying.

“I just want to get the word out that bullying is wrong, and it’s not cool to do, it’s not fun for anyone, (and) it’s not a good experience,” said Nathan.

Nathan brought the idea of creating a shirt to his mother, April Cieslak, a few weeks ago, who explained to him that he would need a logo and slogan to put on the shirt. She said a few hours later her son had everything he needed.

“It didn’t take long because I was thinking about it the whole day, so I already had the design planned out in my head,” said Nathan.

With the design of the shirt ready, Cieslak started looking for someone to print them. She said she talked to a few people but ultimately decided to go with GC Sweats.

Cieslak said she felt a connection with Joseph F. Schillaci, president of GC Sweats, who was also passionate about the cause.

“Immediately we gave them a discount, because of the nature of it. I thought it was so admirable of Nathan that I couldn’t get involved fast enough. There’s nobody that wasn’t bullied at one time in their life, including me,” said Schillaci.

After coming on board, Schillaci helped make some tweaks to the design, and shared the news of Nathan’s project with his son Rocco A. Schillaci II, Esquire, who, also being able to sympathize with what some children are forced to go through, sponsored the T-shirts through his law firm, Schillaci Law, LLC, paying for a portion of the production cost.

“I thought it was a great idea and a great cause for such a young kid to want to get involved in,” said Schillaci II. “I think it’s really in the forefront right now. With social media, bullying is not what it used to be. It’s not stealing your lunch money and pushing you on the playground, it’s really a psychological game.”

Bullying has changed for children in the last 10 years. After school, children used to be able to go home and be safe, but now, because of the popularity of Facebook and texting, the bullying can follow students home.

“It’s more serious,” added Cieslak, a teacher’s aide in the Old Forge School District. “You have children committing suicide over it. I’ve obviously, and fortunately, haven’t been in a school district where that’s happened, but it has happened locally. So, it’s serious, and I think we need to take it seriously.”

One way to have the problem taken more seriously is to create awareness and also educate children and adults on what to do if they are being bullied, witness bullying, or if they are the one doing the bullying.

Nathan’s T-shirt campaign will hopefully be able to have an impact on both, with a portion of the proceeds from the shirts being donated to the PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center.

The nonprofit organization, which was originally established as an advocacy for children with disabilities, became involved in bullying prevention about 10 years ago, according to Julie Hertzog of PACER.

“We had so many parents contacting us about bullying situations,” said Hertzog.

“The stories we were hearing were heartbreaking and they impacted us, especially as an advocacy organization.”

PACER developed resources, primarily online, for children. The donations from Nathan’s project will be going to help and continue the development of those resources.

But possibly even more important than the money they will be receiving will be the potential impact Nathan will be making on his community, as Hertzog explained that peer-generated projects usually have a larger effect on children.

“When a young person like Nathan takes action like this…the message has just a much stronger impact when it’s coming from a peer, and we hear that from students all the time,” said Hertzog.

“Adults can talk about this to kids, and it’s important that adults model the policies and set the procedures and rules, but it’s really the kids themselves that have such an influence in this topic, and it’s really their social issue…and they’re probably the ones that can take the strongest action to remedy it,” said Hertzog.

Members of Old Forge, and surrounding communities, may have already proven Hertzog’s theory true, as Nathan was able to sell 75 shirts in three days.

“He came in originally for 12 shirts and said, ‘I want to sell them to my friends,’” said Schillaci.

“And then this kind of all escalated,” said Nathan.

Cieslak said the family didn’t have to make any phone calls for the sale of the first run of shirts, with word of mouth bringing members of the community to them, who were also passionate about their cause.

“I know a lot of the parents that bought them were (saying), ‘This is so important. This is an amazing thing that Nathan is doing,’ A lot of comments and a lot of positive feedback,” said Cieslak.

The positive feedback will most likely continue in the coming weeks, as Nathan and Schillaci plan on notifying the surrounding school districts, about the T-shirt sale.

Nathan has requested permission from the Old Forge School District to sell the shirts in the district. Old Forge Elementary School Principal Nicole Vanluvender said she is unaware if a decision on that has been made yet, but added that she is pleased with Nathan’s project.

“I couldn’t be prouder of his efforts,’ said Vanluvender.

“He really stands up, in every situation, for what he thinks is right.”

To order a “Only You Can Prevent Bullying” T-shirt, email [email protected] or [email protected]

Inspired

My name is Jiselle, I am 18 years old and I have become inspired to share my story about bullying.

I started reading stories about kids who have been bullied and it has touched my heart and made me want to open up. My story begins with my upbringing. When I was little I was forced to be independent and take the lead and take care of my brothers. My family was broken and I took it upon myself to try to make them smile anyway I could by performing skits and acting silly. I grew up different. I liked being silly and dressing different. Sometimes I would dress like a tomboy and sometimes I would dress in comfortable clothes I liked.

I started being bullied when I started daycare. I was shy and didn’t really warm up to new people. I made friends but they always turned on me. I used to get picked on, beat up and teased for no reason. I grew up wondering why people hated me so much, I was always so nice to them . I had so many insecurities growing up I use to think i was fat and Ugly and started working out until I passed out.

When I became a teenager bullying got worse. Because I was teased so much when I was a little girl I grew up thinking I was ugly. I never thought I was really pretty and when I became a teenager I blossomed but I still had insecurities and when I started having relationships with guys it got worse. My first boyfriend cheated on me and I had friends turn on me and send me hate messages and gossip about me. I got to the point were I broke down and cried in my shower everyday wondering what I did wrong and why. One relationship almost wrecked me . The guy I was dating was a verbally abusive and bullied me mentally for a year and a half. He broke me down to the point were I lost who is was and developed an eating disorder and tried to overdose on sleeping pills because I couldn’t take it anymore.

One day I just got fed up. I took a stand and told myself no more. I started using better judgement and started to open up to only two really close friends and my mom. I was bullied and tormented and I used that as fuel to be a better person. I started to build a modeling career at age 16 and I am now a redline extreme girl.

I am building a career I thought was impossible when I was young. I arose from my past and I am here stronger than ever. I promised myself no matter what people so or do I will continue to be strong and not let them get to me.

I am grateful for my past and for my new future. My dream is to share my story to people who have been bullied in relationships, at school, or anywhere else.

I want them to know that they aren’t alone and no matter how harsh the bullying gets, seek help and be strong. Don’t give up on life and happiness for people who can’t accept you.

SILENT CRIES

I stay quiet to be left alone, 
I hide so I can’t be seen.
I run so I don’t get caught, 
But they still treat me mean. 
Everyday I dread school, 
Every night I dread the next day.
School is supposed to be safe, 
Instead it’s hell I have to pay.
I want them to like me, 
I want to make a friend.
But these bullies want to fight me, 
And I want it all to end.
At night I cry alone, 
Wishing I were dead.
I turn on my television,
And find out another kid is dead. 
He was bullied just as I, 
Wanted to be dead just like me.
The difference is I’m here, 
I can change what I see.
I need to stand up for those afraid,
I need to speak for those that are silenced.
I need to make these people listen, 
I need to stand against the violence. 
They do not see our signs for help,
They do not hear our silent cries.
It’s time for change to begin, 
Justice for those who lost their lives.

The Video That Changed My Life

I was in a simply English class and one of my friends was watching a short film. I have always been against bullying and always will be. But this video touched me and made me feel so sick inside I couldn’t handle it any longer.

In this video the boy was so severely bullied that he took his own life. A boy no older than 15 who killed himself, because of bullying, I felt so sick and had a pain so bad inside I needed to do something.

Now I want everyone to know the effects, do something, stop someone and help everyone. Be the difference, I am doing everything I can to STOP BULLYING.

Have Faith In Yourself

Ever since Elementary school, I’ve been bullied. I was picked on at recess for the things I did, the clothes I wore, and they use to taunt me about the boys I liked.

Ever since then, I’ve never been the same. My whole elementary, and middle school years I’ve tried to be different. Prettier, cooler, and someone I wasn’t. Just to fit in and stop being bullied and actually be beautiful like everyone else. As I tried, it made it worse. More words were in the picture. I was called, "fake". Which means, that I was acting like someone I wasn’t. Which was true, but nobody really understood. When I tried to explain, nobody would listen, just kept calling me names.

People use to call me ugly, stupid, that I smelled bad, I never showered, nobody liked me, I had no friends, I was a stalker, etc. It hurt and I felt worse about myself. I got held back my 8th grade year, and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. All the people who bullied me were gone, and I was with other people.

Than I was moved to the high school and got bullied when I first got there, so I came back and moved into a new grade. Bullying started there, two boys in my science class purposely talked to me about failing and getting held back, because I had failed one grade. It hurt and I felt worthless, they always did it and made fun of me and embarassed me in front of all the "popular people". My reputation was ruined.

Also, to fake friendships that made everything worse. I planned suicide, cut myself, and got counseling. My self esteem was so low, that I’d result to anything just to be wanted and loved. I’m 16, now going to be a sophmore soon.

The bullying has gone down since it’s summer and I’ve changed a lot. Physically and mentally for the good. I seen the boy who bullied me in school outside of school the other day, he didn’t say anything. I still get rumors about me, like last summer was the worst. But, I learned to shake it off and forget about what people say. Wiped the tears and moved on. All you really have to do, is tell someone. make sure you do, before it’s too late. & Realize how stupid & insecure they are and have confidence and faith in yourself and always look to your faith, family and good friends when you need them. Because they’ll always be there. It’s a battle, but it’s worth the struggle in the end I promise. <3

That’s My Story

In elementary school, I was always called fat. I’ll admit, I wasn’t the skinniest kid. I told my mom but she said she didn’t know what she could do. But at the time, none of my friends had that problem. Sometimes I cried at night and I went to bed because I was just totally hurt. Then, in fifth grade there was this girl that would always punch me and call me fat. Luckily, she ended up moving after sixth grade. But in sixth grade we had serious issues. She would call me horrible names on Facebook. I’m not going to say them because they were so bad. But I guess I was just as bad. I called her names back. I was so annoyed. After she moved I was so happy.

In seventh grade things got worse. I hadn’t had any kids call me names in person or say anything about me to my face. Just online. But in technology one day, this girl I barely ever talked to called me fat and said that I looked like a whale. I didn’t say anything back. I didn’t care. Then in health, she told these two new girls she was in honors. I was talking with them too and said "your not in honors" and she said "yeah I am. You’re not." and I said "actually, yes I am. I’m in honors language arts. And you aren’t in there." She had to ask somebody because she didn’t believe me. Then she said "oh. Well you just didn’t seem like the kind of person to be in there. You aren’t smart. You’re stupid." I started getting super mad. I was clenching on to my binder so hard. Trying to avoid going off on her. Then she said "Remember how you didn’t make the volleyball team? You couldn’t even bump it. You sucked" and she laughed. I said "I didn’t make the team because I couldn’t serve, I got 10 points on my bumping." and she just ignored me. Then she asked if I did any sports. I said no. Then she asked if I did any other school activities. I said "No. I don’t really have the time or anyone to pick me up." And then she said "No. It’s because you’re lazy. I thought I was just going to punch her. I was trying so hard not to cry.

And in gym one day, we were playing kick ball. I’m not crazy about gym.  So when it was our turn to kick, I walked up there. I didn’t run. Then some girls that weren’t playing yelled "Alicia why aren’t you running?" And I just shrugged my shoulders. I never talked to them. I had but that was a while ago. Then one girl said "No wonder you’re so fat. You need some exercise."

My heart just dropped. I had been dealing with self esteem problems at the time. I was trying like crazy not to cry. I wanted to just break out in tears. Anyway, I haven’t done anything. But I’m moving. But that was my experience with bullying . . . yup.

I Am, You Are

I AM, YOU ARE

Why do you discriminate?
I say this, you say that,
I say white, you say black.
I try to be nice, I try to be cool
I try to be funny, but you call me a fool.
Why do you make me your prey?
Who will go and who will stay?

I am everbody and every race.
I might be a woman, a man or a child,
I might be poor, I might be in style,
I might be blond, I might be gay.
Why can’t you accept me in my own way?

The proble just might be
That you wish you could be me.
You are prejudice and I am free
Your are scared where I am strong,
I am the one who change the world.
I am right and you are wrong.
Getting rid of the pity and hate,
That will be the way,
For I believe in love and fate.

Acceptance?

Hi, my name is Marina and I live in Portugal.

I was myself a bully victim and I didn’t and still don’t find that cool at all. But lately, I found out that one who bully someone, anytime in his life was bullied. I’m not defending those who bully, but my point is that, sometimes, to one can be accepted in a certain crew, people adopt the same behaviors that this crew has it, and sometimes no matter if the behavior of that crew is good or bad, we just want to accepted by them no matter what.

I didn’t bully anyone, because I was lucky to have a mother who fought for me so that the bullies don’t bring me down and make me to follow their path. Some questions that I have are, after had passed for that and after growing up a little "Why we want that bad to accepted by people who doesn’t accept us like we are? And who started this horrible game of popularity?"

Now in my point of view, popularity it’s not a bad thing, but the popularity that bullies are trying to reach or got it already it is a bad one because it only teaches us to be bad citizens in the way that we discriminate people by reasons like race, physical conditions, or stuff that people can’t control by its own straight.

So why we want that bad this kind of popularity which doesn’t bring us to any good place, and for the opposite, only leads us to self-destruction?