Two-Faced Teammates

The coach at my old club called and asked me to go to with one of the teams to a big tournament. They needed someone to play, so she thought of me. I was so grateful for the opportunity to go and play at a higher level than I was used to because all the girls on the team were a year older than me. So, flattered by the amazing opportunity, I decided to fly a thousand miles from home to this tournament to play with girls I barely knew. On the first night we arrived, we had to squeeze all 8 of us into one small hotel room. I was sleeping on the floor, freezing cold. Most of the rest were on one pullout couch bed. I couldn’t sleep because I was so cold, but I was pretending to be asleep hoping I would eventually just go to sleep. Meanwhile, the other girls are talking to each other. They must have thought I was asleep because around 2 in the morning they start talking about me. They start insulting every single thing about me. They spent a long time talking about my body. They mocked everything I had said or done around them. They made clear they hated me. Eventually they started talking about how they wanted to do these awful things to me, starting with throwing sand at me and escalating into graphically describing how they wanted to murder me, all while making fun of my body. It was so awful to hear, and I was trying not to cry. Towards the end they discussed the fact that I was in the same room as them and may have heard, so they all said that if I told the coach they would deny it. I continued to pretend to be asleep because I was terrified. For a couple days, I didn’t say anything about it and pretended everything was normal. I didn’t have any friends who came with and neither of my parents came on this trip either because it was so far away. I didn’t know what to do. Towards the end of the trip, everyone was sitting at the table and Coach said something about how she felt like something was off with our team because we had been playing bad. I decided to speak up and say that heard everything they said that night. However, the girls said that they said some mean stuff but made it seem like it wasn’t bad at all. They lied about what they had said and when I tried to call them out on specific things they denied it. They were never punished and did not face any consequences other than seeing me sob in front of everyone. They half heartedly apologized (they never even used the word sorry.) Later I found out that they made a group chat to continue saying mean things about me. To this day I feel like I didn’t do enough to stand up for myself and that my voice wasn’t heard. I hope that one day they will face consequence for their actions so they learn it’s not okay to do those kinds of things to me or anyone else.