school hell

It all began when I and my family moved to another city. With moving came new schools and a new start which I wasnt very keen about. My new school hapoened to be a very academic one and very highly achieving yet also with a very distinct cast . The rugby boys and netball girls all intertwined with each other and unfortunately for me I wasnt a girl who played netball. In a majority White school being the only black girl in my grade was very tough . I was very different and was surely made to know that. I had no friends when other students went for lunch with their friends I was thinking about ways to sneak into the toilet and hide or walk round the school building pretending to find something of mine that wasnt missing. I was essentially an outcast. I was made fun of , called names and every lesson i went to there would be constant snickering.
During physical education lessons i worked alone because nobody wanted to work with the black girl with no friends. Netball was the main sport of the school and i later became alright at it, during PE i would get the ball from some girls and pass to the team the teacher had placed me with only to be told to “shoo” by a girl as if i was a dog.
Being bullied almost drove me to do things that i never felt before or ever thought about doing. I would try to avoid going to school, cry in the toilets because it got that bad. An incident occured in a maths lesson when a boy and a girl were laughing at my hair and for some reason in a very big class i felt very contrived and claustrophobic. I felt boxed in and my heart was racing, I was having a panic attack right there on my seat and no one was aware, i felt as if i was shrinking and my hands and feet where shaking.
It all got better in my second year when i started to talk to a girl who later became my friend . Although i was part of her friendship group i was still alienated by the members but she was very encouraging and quite genuine. I belong with something but nothing at the same time. i accepted that because then i could go to lunch and eat even though i felt very uncomfortable , I could sit with a group if people during break time not because they wanted me there but we because I had a piller of support within them.
Bullying is wrong never encourage it.