My story

My school experience

It all started when I was in Primary six, I remember it so well. I had just got my indoor shoes on and was about to walk into class, one of the boys came up and touched me and another girl turned round and said “you have the A-touch” everyone burst out laughing and I looked around and burst out crying. it was probably the worst feeling ever but not the worst I have felt. The bullying started from being one boy to pretty much the whole primary class which was kind of devastating because I ended up with no friends and I couldn’t understand what I had done.

I used to sit in the corner of the playground and break my heart because I was so lonely, I also used to sit in the canteen myself while I had lunch. There was this one time I was sitting in the canteen having my lunch and my big sister E walked past and she seen me she wasn’t very happy that no teacher came over to me and asked if I was alright, she grabbed my hand and raged down to the head teachers office and we spent time in there and she knew my sister wasn’t happy at all.

I still get bullied to this day, it is honestly the worst, in June last year it was the toughest time because there was this one boy who just moved to the school and he was in my year, I never spoke to him once and I was walking home to meet my mum to go to my brothers celebration of success, I was walking down by the nursery and he was walking by with another boy and he shoved me into the side of a wall, it hurt and I honestly didn’t know what to do. That was only the start of it, this one boy has physically bullied me and also just being nasty! It has calmed down now but it was really bad at one point.

This has affected my mental health in many different ways, I suffer from really bad anxiety and I also feel down with everything that happens, my anxiety is also at its worst when I’m in school, I break down in nearly every class i am in because I just don’t want to be there I struggle. My school experience hasn’t just affected me it has also affected my family, my mum and dad have a hard time with me because I don’t explain my feelings to them I just let it out in a rage and also I don’t like going to school so we start screaming at each other, it’s a screaming match to get me out the house in the morning.

It has also affected my physical health, I have been referred from hospital on two occasions. The doctor in the hospital wrote a letter to my head teacher because he was really concerned that I have been admitted to hospital twice and both of them have been put down to stress, the head teacher got the letter and called a meeting, things were supposed to be put in place but as usual nothing happened.

Also these past few weeks I have been at my lowest point, it’s the worst that my mental health has been to be precise, my immune system has been as low as ever, have also been so low and have been quite ill, I had to take a few weeks off school because I just couldn’t handle anything and I’m still struggling right till this day.

I think through all my school experiences that I have been through it has taught me a few lessons, it’s taught me that not all friends have to live in the same place as you and also not to trust anyone except your family because it backfires . My school experience has made me realise that I’m stronger than them, it honestly breaks me why they do it but I suppose they have nothing better to do. One day I hope they grow up and realise what they put me and other people through, I also hope one day they reflect on their behaviour at school and in some way feel slightly ashamed. I hope revealing my story to others may help someone else going through the same as me.