How bullying has affected my outlook on myself.

It started when I was in 4th grade. I was never a popular girl. I did my own thing. I was very friendly and would talk to anyone, but other people did not want to talk to me. I used to be very obsessed with the cartoon “my little pony”. I used to talk about it in school, bring little pony toys to class, draw them, and act like ponies at recess. This caused a lot of trouble for me. Nobody wanted to be my friend, everyone called me weird and said I was a baby because my love of the show. This hurt because I was only doing what I love and being myself , just to find out i’d be rejected because of who I was. Fast forward to middle school. I became the quiet “dark” type of girl. I had been struck with the very bad and awkward side of going through puberty so as you can guess, I was not very physically appealing. I was bullied for my looks. Called ugly for not looking like the pop star and rap girls everyone seemed to worship. I was also avoided and bullied for my interests. I was into anime and drawing typical unpopular “geeky” things. still TO THIS DAY I have a bad rap because of being myself in 6th grade. 7th grade it got a bit more serious. I started wearing dark colors and listening to metal, rock, alternative. That kind of stuff. Obviously, I was bullied for this too. Everyone else listened to rap, which isn’t a bad thing considering I listen to rap now, but still doesn’t mean its okay to put others down for their taste. I was called “emo” “evil” . I got punched in the arm for no reason one day. No reason. I’ve never talked to this kid in my life. I was antisocial. Friendless, awkward. I ended up very suicidal due to this, and because of an abusive relationship ( but thats nobody’s business) . I started self harming. Self esteem basically non existent. I felt wrong for being myself. Ugly. Weird. Rejected. Why couldn’t I be like the pretty popular girls? Tons of friends, good social skills, beautiful. Everything I wasnt. This only made me hate myself more. I envied what they had. In 8th grade I attempted to change for other people and I hated it. I wanted to be myself so bad, but knew id be rejected. I am now in 9th grade but am still greatly affected by what happened. I have many friends now and im not bullied anymore. Avoided and picked on by past schoolmates? Yes. But not bullied anymore. And im greatly thankful for that. I still have self esteem issues, anxiety, and depression, but I’ve been getting better. I dont self harm anymore. So yeah, thats my story. All I can say is please, please dont harass others for their looks, interests, ect. Some people dont care and can handle it, but others will be incredibly affected by it like I was and still am. Please be a decent person.