Depressing Never After

Everyone’s got a different story to tell. Most involve happily ever after for the victims of bullying. But my case was never resolved. A year ago, my bully began cussing me out. I always thought of myself as someone who would be able to handle it and easily report it. Nope. It kept getting worse and I heard her voice in my head before I fell asleep at night. Her opinion of me slowly turned into my opinion. I let her get under my skin. Later that year, a boy started rumors about me. He started to call me gay. I’m not saying gay is bad, one of my closest friends is gay, but it’s still not right to spread rumors -whether it’s true or not. I started getting suicidal thoughts. They never went any farther than thoughts, I never got the urge to do anything, I actually thought it laughable, I had no intention for anything to happen. But those thoughts were still there. Her voice still in my head. The saddest part of this, is I was the first and only person to talk to her when she was new to my school.
This year, I was bully and bystander. I’m not getting into detail of that, I hate myself for it. I will say that I was following the lead of the other girl involved so I wouldn’t be victim again.
I got punished. Heck, I still am getting punished. I accept it. I deserve it. What I did was horrible.
MY BULLY NEVER GOT THE PUNISHMENT SHE DESERVED!
P.S. I’m best friends with the girl I bullied now. In her eyes, I made it up to her. To me, I need to do more.