Bullied for 9 years…

So since year 3 I have been bullied by various people. There is no part of me that hasn’t been made fun of. From my hair, to my body, to my personality and even my voice. Silly isn’t it? How peoples words can effect you to such an extent. I’ve been through a lot. Im not going to lie… Depression, anxiety, paranoia, atelophobia…but you know what?
Sometimes in life things can get hard. Different people suffer through different things and it can affect them in different ways. No one should be singled out. Hence the word, different. No one is the same, no one is alone. The world is a huge place full of hardship and suffering. We all have our own personal prisons, insecurities and problems. Thousands of people get hurt, thousands hurt themselves physically to distract from the torture that is the outside world and the mental torture bestowed upon them each day. We all stumble and fall, but we learn how to deal with these things. It’s difficult to get through to people how you feel. They ask “are you okay?” and the words “I’m fine, I’m just tired” slip from between your lips as you lie again and again just so you don’t let them in because you’re scared that they’ll hurt you just like everyone else did.
The names you were called, the hardships you went through, everything you have to deal with each and every day and for what? Some cheap entertainment for what are essentially the bullies? They aren’t worth your time. Some days you just want it to all come to a stop. You just want everything to go black and you want to sleep forever but something keeps you here, or someone keeps you here. You were put on this marble we call earth for a reason and that is because you are loved. You are loved by someone and you just don’t know it or you’re loved and you know it but you.re afraid to let them in. But its okay..I have been there too, I got hurt, bullied, used and I wanted it to end too… but now im 17, im still here… I stayed strong, I put the past behind me… I found something better. I could have ended my life whenever but I waited and something and someone came into my life that made it worth living.  I couldn’t be happier now. I beat anorexia, I beat bullying, I powered through panic attacks and now day by day my paranoia is slowly fading, I found friends to help me and my family tries to help too, and my boyfriend showed me what real love is. I thank god every day for all of this. Im nearly all better now <3