BEING fat is like being an open target

I am not sure what people call ‘bullying’ but i am a girl from an Indian school not located in India. In my school there are both boys and girls.
i have always been made fun of and always i just laugh it off.. when it actually hurts then i go to the washroom and cry in the stalls. Yes , i am fat and i belong to blue in the PE class and people in my class call me ‘blue whale’ again the same cycle went on – i laughed it off, went to the stalls and cried. during the 8th grade i had a diary in which i could write about my day or what happen and of course i wrote my crush’s name. i was usually very secretive of it . once when i went to the washroom . one of the guys i am gonna call A took my book and went into the guys washroom. another one of my class mate(B) went to the washroom and saw a reading in my diary and instead of stopping him, he read it as well. you might think that ‘its just a crush get over it its nothing big’ well it is . second term of 8th grade when i went to my friends who always told me ‘you are my best friend’ told me to f** off that i was ugly and fat and dumb. they continued soo i ran to my bus with tears literally flying off my face. 9th grade i was called names like ‘ toilet paper, that i had no friends’ .. in fact once in the library period i sat alone in the table next to the one full of people cause when i went there i was told to go away . the other guy named Z sat on the table i was sitting in … he was a part of the ‘popular gang’ of the class and his best friend B called him and asked ‘ hey Z why are you sitting with the loser’ to which he answered ‘ she is also human alright? soo if you are my friend then you are her friend too’ …..internally i was the happiest person alive . but after 3 days i was ignored AGAIN …..this ‘story’ might not seem as sad but truly it is … i have shed soo many tears for people bullying me and making fun of me that i regret having a fat body … i did try to lose all this weight but it cant really be possible if you eat away your feelings…..