As life goes on…

My name is Balázs, and I’ve been bullied ever since I went to elementary. I’ve been also to hospital because of it, and I always have to check a room for possible escape routes before I enter it. Here’s how it went every day for several years until very recently. I try to go to school without getting beaten to a half counscious state every day, since the bullies are the “popular” types of kids. The others are on the bully’s side, so me and a few other kids, just have to stay in the shadows as long as we can. I’ve been close to suicide two times, one after being teased and called names for weeks, and the other time my books were stolen. Teachers never believed me when I complained, even though I had really visible marks. I had enough and told my parents, who contacted the school, and then the police. In the end I seriously had to punch back the bully, because he tried to break my nose. I recovered, but ever since then I had a serious trust issue. I’m the quiet good student type of kid, and I just want some help! Am I really worthless?