8th-9th Grade

There was this girl who I had become good friends with in 8th grade; she was nice, funny, supportive, and just a great girl overall, but it was all an act. She would check me out in the hallways, make sexual comments about my body, talk about my clothing, make sexual gestures, and talk to my other friends behind my back about me. I felt humiliated but could not say anything as I didn’t think it was too important. I am a girl as well and I was not bisexual at the time, so of course I did not want this kind of attention. This girl physically hurt my friend multiple times and gave her bruises and regularly threatened one of my other friends into staying in a friendship with her; we were terrified of her. I was pitted up against friends and forced to cut ties with those same friends because they weren’t “good for me”. She acted like she knew what was best for me all the time. She kept calling me stupid, weak, a coward, and told me that me being pretty was basically the only good thing about me. She controlled who I hung out with, who I talked to, even who I looked at! She took my phone and looked through all my messages to see if I was talking to this guy and if I happened to have his contact, she was enraged. I was walking on eggshells and terrified, but one part of me really enjoyed the unpredictability of it all. She pulled my hair and shoved me once for looking at my friends. Eventually, I came over to her house and we hung out. She took my phone away from me and examined who I was talking to. Once she saw his contact, she got so angry; she was about to choke me and “beat me to a pulp”. She just yelled at me. Yelled and yelled and yelled me to tears. I was there for over an hour in a panicked state, unable to do anything. Finally I got picked up and I never saw her again. We texted though and she was super mad and told me she was going to kill herself, but she didn’t. She’s at another school now and I have a really hard time forgetting this and getting over it. It’s been four months since I’ve last seen her and I’m still haunted and upset by what she’s done and what I’ve done. Sometimes, I wonder how she’s doing and if she’s alright at her new school.