how it affected me

it happened to me from 5-13 years old, just a 5 year old who was belittled, ignored, made fun of and felt like she was not worth it. i believe that my brain has been affected by this, i have anxiety about leaving the house because “nobody likes me” “everyone hated me” so i think my mind is thinking why should i show myself in public i should just do a favor to the world and not show myself and not talk, but it’s also because my mind is trying to protect me from getting hurt again. if i don’t talk much, there’s less likely a chance of someone being rude to me or hating on me and if i don’t leave the house there’s no chance of anyone outside judging me. i’m trying to overcome this and i have made progress so far but it’s still quite hard