The Quiet One

I’ve been told I was useless sense the first day of kindergarten. First Day, I got lost and a teacher took me to the office mumbling about how it was pathetic I couldnt find the bathroom.
Recess, I was beat by another student for standing in line. Teacher didn’t report it. I cried that night.
Second Day, begged dad not to go. he didnt see the bruise on my side. I got beat up and shoved everyday.
Second grade. I got picked out by the teacher over ten times a day every day. I got sent to the office almost five times a week for being to rude or giving attitude. The bully who beat me on the first day has continued to call me names telling me to die and such sense the first day. No one cared. I got sent to the hallway or to the office to much for people to care. I’d go home and cry every night not know what to do.
Fourth Grade, Still got beat up but now other kids have caught on and have started bullying me. calling me names. My bully that beat me on the first day of school stepped on my finger hard and dislocated it, I cried and begged to go to the nurse but the teacher told me to stop crying and go out into the hall, she didnt care. Still got sent to the office too much, cried too much, whined too much. I discovered drawing and people always said i was good at it, but they lied I know they were lying. I tried out for the art gifted and talented club, I didn’t get in. I was sent to the office too much, cried too much, was too quiet in class, had no friends in school. I cry every night, I dont care how I look anymore, I dont want to get up. I dont want to go to that hell where im yelled at for everything, sent to the office for everything, bullied for everything.
Fhithgrade, the bullying has gotten worse, no one cares about me, im excluded from everything, im being told to die everyday by other girls. At recess I hide behind a wall and draw in the dirt, only thing techers do is yell at me and tell me to go play with my friends, but what friends. My bully shoved a pencil into my side, I bled all dy I was to scared to say anything, no one would care. I cry to much, im sent to the office to much, Im the quiet one. These thing continued relentilessly, staff and students would single me out, yell, hurt and punch.
During middle school things quieted down, but there was still that fear. the nagging that im never good enough..I developed PTSD, Anxity, suicidal thoughts, Depression…
Freshman year went by, I missed over half the year, I couldn’t get out of bed.
Second year of high school was okay, I still missed a lot of school. One teacher called me out every class, calling me useless, worthless, a waste of space. I told the office and they didn’t do anything. I had a meeting with the teacher and my school councilor, the councilor sided with the teacher while I cried, I could feel my lungs contracting and my throat closing refusing to breath and it hurt so bad. I sobbed on the way home and blacked out on my bedroom floor. No one cared. I don’t trust more then two people anymore. I suffer panic and anxiety attacks daily. I have PTSD attacks every week. This is my story.