Bullying completely changed who I am and it was not for the better.

I have been bullied for almost all of my school life but now that I look back it isn’t so surprising really. I was born with Aspergers syndrome which is a disorder on the autism spectrum, people with aspergers have serve difficulty in social interaction and nonverbal communication along with repetitive behaviour.   Most students in my year picked on me, almost everyone did and I didn’t understand why then but I do now, I couldn’t understand their non verbal communication, their jokes and their way of behaving but I do now. I never did anything to fight back other than telling the teachers a few times and sometimes my sister who was reasonable and would not hurt them but only tell them to stop which they would for a while but eventually begin again.  I have became cold, manipulative and so ambitious. I hate losing control, I must be in control. If someone could tell me that they have felt like this or have had a similar experience I would probably be overjoyed to know I am not alone but anyway yeah, I generally have to fake what I do in order to fit in with others because it doesn’t come naturally like it does with them. One word though, never keep your pain within as it WILL build up and change you, for better or for worse. Don’t think badly of me, I am not evil, I do things for a reason and I think about it. Thanks so much for taking the time to read my experience and what it did to me, if your bullied don’t kept you’re feelings in, let them out as they build up overtime and can be difficult to contain.