toxic people

im 16 going 17, schooling in a junior college. at the start of the new year, at this new school, with a new class, i had to pick my group of friends. i had them, a group of friends, but 1 month in, i got pulled into another smaller group of friends within the class. and i was stuck. they were both exclusive, and both didnt wanna mingle and mix around with each other. to fit into the people aound me, to make myslf interesting, i started to join in with the gossip, with my “trusted” friends. i was stuck, who did i wanna choose? group 1 or group 2? i went with group 2 because they were more tight than group 1, and i didnt have to try so hard around them. but while hanging with group 2, group 1 would ask me for the hot gossip from group 2, and in order to not make any enemies so early into the school year, i spilled, trusting that they would never rat me out. BIG mistake. 6 months into school, big leader of group 1 decides to pick a fight with me, and somehow managed to twist and turn my words, and take them out of context, turning all my “friends” against me. going from having a hard time choosing between 2 spectacular group of friends, to being the one loner in class with no fixed group of friends over the course of one week, all because this mean girl from group 1 decided that it was time to start picking on me. moral of the story, i shouldve just stayed a loner through the year like i usually do, changing myself only caused it to be a more painful and sad way to still end up a loner. i hate school, and i hate life, and sometimes i just wanna die.