Just hang on ok? ❤️

Hi my names s and im 13. When i was in primary school i was bullied everyday by these older ones and also by my 2 other classmates (there was only three in my class lol) it was never physical but it was mental. They told me everyday how dumb i was and how i was ugly and how my nose was big and i was fat and stuff like that i used to come home and just cry. I felt so alone because im not the type of person that talks to people about my feelings and i also had no friends at the time (no girls in my class apart from me 😩) one night i was so depressed and was having a mental breakdown. I dug my nails into my wrists and kept saying that i wanted to die over and over again. I texted my cousin who is the same age as me but she just basically ignored me and told me to cop on. It was then that i realised why i was being bullied. I was being bullied because i LET them bully me and i LET them affect me and the way i looked at myself in the mirror and in general. From then on i cant say that it improved but i can say that i dont want to die now and i have ACTUAL FRIENDS!! it still traumatises me that i was in such a dark place and it haunts me that i could’ve hurt myself that night and i was thinking that nobody would be affected. I still get anxiety (undiagnosed so not official if uk what i mean) and think about that time but then i realise that the people who did it are horrible people with basically no future. LISTEN TO THIS. If you are telling yourself that your worthless or ugly then u need to remember that YOU are not the one that is saying that. Its not the real you that is degrading yourself, its the version that is unconfident and actually ugly but dont worry you will get through it! Look in the mirror every morning and say to yourself one good thing to make u feel happy xxxx