I hate myself

I was bullied for 5 years. Everything started when I was 10.I was bullied because I was fat , and because I was fat ,they said, I was also ugly. I had to eat in the bathroom because they would make fun of me if I would eat in front of them. I was also not allowed to talk because in their opinion ugly people should not speak.
“no one will ever love you because you are too ugly to be loved” this is what I was forced to hear every single day for 5 years, and the sad part is that I was physically bullied by them too… and I decided to keep it for myself because I was too scared to talk to someone about my problem. They were also telling lies about me , really ugly rumors about my family …I was not able to proof that they were wrong, and this thing made me anxious and lonely.
Even if this nightmare stopped 2 years ago , I still have anxiety. I feel that I will never be able to reach people’s beauty standards and this is haunting me everywhere because , even if I hate myself for this, a part of me still believes that an ugly person like me does not have the right to speak or to be loved.