bullies everywhere and can be anyone

Ever since i was grade 1 i was regularly teased because of my appearance and being anti social no one wanted to talk to me ,other kids call me names and scream them in front of my face especially boys but i would just regulary ignore them until i met a girl and a boy  they are transferies on other schools and the very first persons to ever talk to me and i felt so happy but due to my cold behavior and the gossips that the other kids was telling them they decided to seldomly talk to me but she explained the reason and i understand i dont want the 2 of them getting teased because of me they were sometimes being teased to due to skin color and height i just dont want to bring them more burden because of me

When i turned grade 2 i decided to tell my mom about my problem but she just said to ignore them , because of i felt like no one understands me i would always cry in the classroom my teacher always comfort me but the same things just happens very often until my teacher decided to talk to my mom about it and my mom told me to ” fight back” that word engraved in my head until one of the boys called me a name that was so annoying that i cant control my temper anymore i decided to ” fight back” by slapping him and kicking him but he fought back to which i lost and hitting the ground well some of my classmates reported it to my teacher and called for a meeting the bully s parent were there and saying sorry and he would not do it again but i just happens again and again and again and even worser i decided to be so cold that no one would even dare to approach me until it was flag ceremony and i was in a very bad mood due to the teasing again someone was touching my hair and playing it actually it was more like someone was fixing it but i thouth it was the bullies again so i decided to hit the person behind me even if i havent checked who it is well i was schocked it was vina every fixed there gaze on me felt so guilty hitting her the way i hitted her was so hard it even sounded loud enough for the whole people around us to turn around but she didnt even cried but she was just holding her tears back and she explained in a sobbing manner that she was just fixing my hair and the guilt even swallowed me more because i just hurted the one of the only person who ever talked to me and yeah another meeting was called and her guardian said that they forgive me and dont ever do that again good thing her guardian was a very nice lady and still lets her approach me but i never talked to her due to the guilt and the bullies even telling everyone to stay away from me because i ll punch or slap them but a few months later she still wanted to talked to me but i only give them cheap reply until i just decided to say sorry and they understand well they accepted me and we became best friends ironic isnt it ?