Alone Again


I was 10 years old. Every day I came to school, was told I was worthless, ugly, a waste of space. Without friends, I retreated into myself. I did seek help, from the teachers, from the principle even. No one did anything, but tell me to toughen up and get over it. So, I decided, at 10 years old that my life wasn’t worth living if it was going to be so miserable and I wasn’t worth anything anyways. I planned the day. I planned the execution. I planned to say goodbye. I didn’t plan on the new kid. He moved there a couple of days before I was gonna end it all. He walked right up to me said, “Hey!” I told him he shouldn’t be near me or he’ll end up all alone too. He said, “We can be alone together.”
That saved my life. Middle school only got worse. My friend had to move again and I was starting to settle in with some new ones, but every day getting pushed, called names. It hits home. Again, I told the teachers. I told security. I told the principal. They didn’t do a thing, but tell me to toughen up and get over it. What was worse was that my friends were getting hurt too. They also protested with adults. No one came to help us.
I wasn’t free until freshman year. I got knocked down and had it. An adult was going to listen to me this time and to my friends. I stormed into the office, crying my eyes out and begged to talk to someone. By the end of the day, my bully was suspended and never messed with me again. My friends started to report their bullies to the adults. One by one we all lost them. Adults can make a difference when they choose to help. Bullying isn’t something to just get over. It’s a real problem that needs solving. It can’t go overlooked because people end up hurt.
To this day I remain in counseling. I suffer from severe depression, anxiety, minor PTSD, and night terror disorder. All from my bullying.
I hear the middle school has a new bullying program that’s working wonders. It was started the year after my friends and I left. I believe it’s because of us and other brave people that it was put in place. Bullying is a serious issue that cannot be tolerated. Just because someone saved 10 year old me, doesn’t mean that every 10-year-old out there has someone looking out for them.