Still haunted by her childhood pain

At my young age,I am an outcast, friends don’t want to talk to me ,they see me as an ugly witch and someone who might die soon because I suffer from concussion.Teachers don’t want to talk to me. My brother thought I was a threat and disgrace. My parents were the only one I could hold to my neighborhood friend were distant from me. But I am now in University bt I still feel the pain I suffered because this pain caused my insecurity. Still some people don’t want to be friends, and my feeling is because I am so ugly. i also have the right to live but I think I don’t. i want to leave freely lyk the gal who did not lose her childhood, but my childhood is gone.